How Your Health Affects the Family

I was asked recently by a mom, “How your own health affects the family.”  I imagine this is a worry or concern that a lot of parents might have.  Everyone is going through things and life is infinitely complicated.  

It’s easy to say your parenting has to always be your first priority but what happens when it can’t be?  What happens when you find yourself dealing with incredible pressure from financial, to medical to even emotional problems like depression or your own anxiety. So, in this blog, let’s cover the topic, “How your own health affects the family”.

Taking Care of  Your Own Health is a Prerequisite to Taking Care of Your Kids

This is an important topic because our kids obviously need us and our guidance.  We are everything to them and without us, life would be unrecognizable to them.  So, we need to do what we have to so that we can be there for them.  

I’m often reminded of the Airline rule that when your oxygen masks fall from the ceiling we are told to first put the mask on ourselves and then secure one on our children.  This may seem counterintuitive, as you may have determined that their lives are more important than your own.  But remember, if you try to help your child first, and in the process you lose the ability to breathe you can’t help them at all.  It makes sense that we have to be able to take care of ourselves as a prerequisite to taking care of our kids. 

What Does Taking Care of Yourself Look Like?

What does taking care of ourselves look like? Well, it starts by being attuned to your needs.  Having the ability to know when you are in trouble or unstable in any way and being able to rectify that as a priority before going back to your parenting goals. After Covid especially, the number of parents who have dealt with bouts of depression has really skyrocketed. 

New research from Boston University School of Public Health reveals that the elevated rate of depression has persisted into 2021, and even worsened, climbing to 32.8 percent and affecting 1 in every 3 American adults. So, if 1 in 3 adults have experienced some level of depression in the past few years, it is not a stretch to imagine that would include at least 1 in 3 parents. 

Get the Help You Need

Now, I’m not an expert on depression. I do know that there are several different forms of therapy and support for depression from medications to talk therapy to cognitive behavioral therapy to Ketamine Treatments. If you sense that you are not your old self and that life feels more and more frustrating and you are losing energy, and struggling to get through your daily chores and interactions, you are not going to be able to be the parent you want to be. 

Don’t Wait If You’re Experiencing Depression

If this is you, right after reading this blog, take some time online to research options in your area.  Don’t wait, depression can get better on its own, but there is no way to know if yours will or not, and the sooner you start a treatment that might help, the sooner you will be in a better position to help your kids. 

Don’t Let Finances Be the Reason You Don’t Get Help

If you are dealing with other health related conditions, or concerns, you need to also be committed to finding the best help for yourself that you can. Waiting and hoping for things to get better due to a lack of money or time only makes things worse. 

One of the added costs of high health costs is that people choose to skip their checkups and checkins when things are a bit off.  Nothing is more frustrating than skipping a checkup on your car that could have diagnosed you with a fixable problem that has turned into something larger that needs 10X the costs.  

Even though it is hard to come up with money for unexpected expenses, you can’t skimp on your health.  Remember, if you are not there, who will put the oxygen mask on your child?

Build a Community to Support You

This brings me to the next important point. As a parent you need to find a way to build a community.  If you have a larger extended family, this is likely a lot easier for you.  Start to consider who in your family you can count on to step in and take over parenting duties if your health problems increase or become unmanageable. 

If you don’t have family, are their people in your community that you can turn to?  If so, start to build these relationships now.  Find a church or charity, even neighbors who might have the time and ability to help you in a pinch.  

Stay-at-home-moms are often inundated with their own worries, but what about retired families in your neighborhood?  What about volunteers from local charities?  If your health is something that is going to be an issue for you going forward, put some plans in place now to organize the relationships you may need to help you. 

Is It Time to Rebuild Broken Relationships?

If you have family relationships that are estranged, consider the cause of that estrangement.  Is it based on different political beliefs? Is it that they haven’t been able to see your point of view about important things? 

As long as the person isn’t someone who is just plain a bad person, bad influence or has a history of abusive behavior, you might want to see if there is a way to repair those relationships to help you build that community. 

Find Time to Get Some Sleep

Lack of sleep can be a big issue for parents. When newborns come into the world, what is the first thing you are told?  Sleep when they sleep. And this is good advice. It is not easy to get any rest when you have an infant or even toddler to look after. But, the same is true for older kids.  

You need to be in a good frame of mind to be able to make consistent positive decisions related to your children.  Parenting can be frustrating and even infuriating at times.  But, nothing can take you off your game more than being exhausted.  

As your kids get older, don’t allow yourself to get so hung up on supporting their every need that you end up exhausted and unhealthy. Find time to get your sleep. Put them to bed a little earlier if you need to.  Sleep while they are at school if you can. Learn how to schedule in 20 minute power naps.

You Need to Help Yourself or You’ll Have Nothing to Give

In the end, just remember that you can’t put that oxygen mask on them if you don’t have one on yourself. 

Once you have done what you need to so that you can be there for your kids long term, come check out my website for more helpful tips and information about what to do to make the most of your time together.  From how to build a relationship to how to teach new skills, if you want good ideas and support, check out my  website .  You can get access to my free workshop called, “How to get your kids to listen without raising your voice or nagging,” and it is free for you right now.

Remember These Key Ways to Take Care of Yourself

Please, make sure you are able to take care of yourself so that you can continue to take care of your kids.  

• Find help for depression if you have it.
• Don’t let little health issues become big ones by neglect. 
• Build a community around you that can help if you ever truly need it. 
• Find a way to get enough sleep so that you can really be there, present and in the right frame of mind, as you try to help guide your kids as they grow.  

If you do all of these things, you will not only be in a better position to support them, but you will also be a great role model for self-help and self-advocacy.  Click here to access the free workshop to help you understand how you can take your parenting to the next level through Just 7 Steps.