How to Handle Sensory Issues
You might be wondering how to handle sensory issues. It’s clear that everyone has sensory preferences, things that feel good to us for whatever reason that they do. And many of us have what might be called sensory issues as well. These are things that might bother us at a higher level than is normally expected. One of the things that makes humankind so infinitely interesting and worth the effort is not how we’re all alike, but rather how we are different.
Sensory differences can cause challenges to social situations like school and even the home setting. But what can, and should, we do about it? What is the process of how to handle sensory issues?
On today’s blog, I’m going to touch on the topic of sensory issues. What they are, how they affect our children, and what we can or should do about them, if anything.
Sensory Issues With Sound
I know an amazing young lady who was in her early teen years who has a disorder called misophonia, which is sometimes called selective sound sensitivity syndrome. It is a syndrome in which the person is particularly triggered with negative feelings and an immediate fight or flight response to what most people would consider normal everyday sounds.
Most people with misophonia deal with sensitivities to sounds related to breathing, or chewing. Some sensitivities to certain singing voices or even traffic sounds is also possible, among others.
Want to find out your child’s behavior type? Take the quiz below!
When someone has misophonia, they have an over sensitivity, or a severe negative reaction to these specific sounds. Imagine if every time you sat down to eat, each person at the table pulled out a chalkboard and began scratching their nails down that chalkboard throughout the duration of the meal. Well, this is what it can feel like to someone with misophonia.
Imagine trying to eat a meal happily with that happening, or take an exam in school, or even listen to your teacher when the boy with the cold next to you is scratching the chalkboard over and over again.
Not all sensory issues are going to be related to sounds. People can have visual sensitivities to light people can have tactile sensitivities to certain textures or materials. And there can be taste and texture related sensitivities and food as well as those related to motion.
How To Handle Sensory Issues
Any one of our children’s senses can be affected by what someone might call a sensory sensitivity, and may cause you to wonder how to handle sensory issues. When your goal is to help your child to live their happiest, most successful life, you have a lot to consider in determining how to handle the sensory issues.
The biggest issue is when the concepts of “happy” and “successful” clash. A child with a sensory issue can be happiest when they’re getting the right amount of that sensory input. This could mean more or less of something than what might be expected.
If our only goal was to make our kids happy, then we can just rearrange the environment around them to assure that they have as much access to this optimal level of sensory input as possible.
Choosing Between a Happy Child and a Successful Child
What are we supposed to do when our child’s happiness and their success may in some cases be mutually exclusive?
A successful diet includes certain levels of vitamins and minerals, as well as a combination of food types. But what if the only thing that makes your child happy is eating french fries, and getting them to eat anything else than that makes them unhappy?
A successful level of activity in a school classroom is usually limited to being able to remain seated for stretches of time. It might include not responding vocally to stimuli that might otherwise be fun to respond to. Or it could include maintaining close proximity to people who make you uncomfortable or bother your senses in some way.
The bottom line is what do we do as parents when what makes our children happy, also makes them less successful and vice versa? Well, this is the question I’ve been asking and that we’ve been asking in the autism education world for many years, as these types of sensory issues are quite commonly found among autistic individuals.
Sensory Issues and Social Behavior
Parents who are neurotypical understand the complexity of social norms, and often want their children to benefit from the same types of social understanding that they have this means that in some situations behaving or acting like everyone else to fit in. Sensory issues can often cause children to behave or act in ways that might be socially less appropriate or even unacceptable in some settings.
For instance, the child with misophonia I mentioned earlier, gets anxious and then eventually gets upset when people she’s in close proximity with breathe heavily through their nose or smack their lips. She will get up, she will ask them to go away and she often can’t even eat with her family.
Now, it’s natural for parents to worry about their kids and want to help them to avoid disappointment, and any emotional pain. So it’s not uncommon for parents to want to find ways to eliminate their child’s sensory issues if they can.
How to Know if the Sensory Issue Should Be Addressed
Some sensory issues can certainly be worked on. Improvement can happen, and some can even be eliminated over time. But there are some important factors that come into play in determining if eliminating or reducing sensitivities is likely or even possible. And there are factors that might determine whether or not it is even appropriate to try.
Is the Sensory Issue Causing Physical Harm?
Firstly, you have to consider the sensory issue itself. Is it something that doesn’t harm the child or anyone else physically? If so, maybe it’s not an important consideration. If it’s not harming the child or anyone else, and the child can continue to react to this sensory issue in ways that you’re not causing any harm. Maybe it’s not a worthwhile goal to target.
Is the Sensory Issue Causing Learning or Developmental Delays?
Next, you need to see if the sensory issue is causing any other delays or detriment to the child’s ability to learn or develop the skills they will need to be happy long term. In this instance, we’re looking to see if the child who might be reacting to a sensory preference in the moment is able to continue to make reasonable progress on other important goals, or does the reaction to the sensitivity interfere with their growth and eventual happiness?
For example, if a child is bothered by other people eating, but they can continue to grow and learn and develop important skills throughout the day, then it likely isn’t as concerning an issue.
However, if the child’s sensory issue is that they want to be rocking back and forth with their eyes closed, and humming songs, and this behavior is desired strongly enough that the child is doing it throughout their day, not being able to stop to focus on other important things, it might make it more appropriate of a goal for us to target.
How Strongly is the Sensory Issue Affecting Your Child?
Another consideration is how strongly the child feels that need or desire to engage in the activities related to that sensory issue. On a scale of one to 10, where would you and your child rate their compulsion or desire to engage in that activity, the lower the number, the more likely you will be able to put into place a successful plan to help reduce it.
A child who was feeling a desire less than five, probably can avoid the behavior related to it enough to learn and probably wouldn’t need our help. If they are a five to an eight, it might be a good target for us as the child is bothered by it, perhaps the feeling of it, but they may have the ability to control their reaction and could benefit from some of the strategies that I will discuss next.
Now if the child is feeling that desire, and a nine or a 10, it might be so strong that any attempt at this time to reduce or eliminate the behavior related to that sensory issue might be too fraught with unhappiness and pushback to be successful at this point.
Does the Child Need Your Help?
Probably the most important aspect of deciding if a sensory issue should be worked on by adults, is if the child themselves wants to change the behavior or the sensitivity, and cannot do it without your help. There are those who would argue that unless the child wants to make the change, you shouldn’t be focusing on it. Now, I can’t quite go that far personally, but I do believe that anytime you are determining what to help a child with, working on things they want to work on is certainly the best place to start.
How to Address Sensory Issues
Once you’re able to determine if a sensory issue is one that makes sense to address, meaning that it is in some way dangerous or harmful to the child or others, it is creating other important delays that are likely to harm the child’s future happiness, and the behavior is currently in a range of importance to the child that success can be reasonably expected. Then you can consider a few options to try to address these issues.
Tip #1 – Give Your Child What They Like at the Right Time
First, give the child access to the sensory desire at times it can be available, so that they’re not feeling deprived of it at times when you want to work on reducing it. If the child likes physical activities, or massage articles, or even joint compressions for certain types of foods or textures, you want to make these things available to the child when they can enjoy them without problem or detriment.
If there are serious social concerns, perhaps you make these things available in locations of the home that are more private or less socially dependent. Teaching a child to wait for privacy for certain behaviors is a part of growing up for every child. It can certainly be part of the education related to how to handle sensory issues.
Tip #2 – The Sensory Issue can be used a Reinforcer
Second, consider which of these sensory issues might be able to act as reinforcement for other behavior. If a child is strongly motivated to have or do certain things, these items or activities would likely act as strong reinforcement. Rather than working to try to reduce their value to the child, we just use them for their value that they offer us as reinforcement for other behavior that they would need to learn or activities they should be participating in.
If your child loves jumping on the trampoline, and that bed and the couch and on your lap, that in addition to giving this for free at times, that it’s not detrimental to them, use it as a reinforcer. By allowing it and making it more fun when you do it together. After they’ve demonstrated good behavior choices.
Through the behavioral principle of pairing, these good choices they’ve made will likely increase because of the relationship to the preferred stimulus. And because the stimulus is being paired with things that the child might consider work, the items they enjoy that are problematic will likely reduce naturally as well.
Tip #3 – Build Up Your Child’s Tolerance to the Sensory Issue
Third, for sensory issues that are not beneficial for the reinforcing value, but instead relate to escape from uncomfortable or even irritating situations, you might be able to organize a program of desensitization. This is slowly building up a tolerance in careful, but meaningful, ways to the sensory issue over time. However, I would recommend saving this approach for when you’re working with a professional who understands the ins and outs of how to run it safely and correctly.
The best bet for this type of sensory issue is not necessarily to try to change it, but rather to help the child learn how to cope with the environment in ways that allow them to avoid and if necessary, respond to the triggers when they occur without using behavior that makes them worse or makes things worse for them, or anyone else involved.
How to Deal with and Understand Your Child’s Behavior
Sensory issues are just one of the many types of things a parent needs to be able to understand and deal with when raising a child calls for help from the school fights talking back bad hygiene, refusals to cooperate, going to sleep on time, screen time issues, they’re all things you might have to overcome when raising a child.
Regardless of the issue, the best way to understand how to handle it is to have a solid grip on the important parenting principles that guide behavior. Learning the Just 7 Steps approach and using it to help you problem-solve any issues that come along is the best way to be the best parent you can be.
For more information about the approach, check out my free quiz to find out your child’s behavior type!
Let’s Review How to Handle Sensory Issues Bothering Your Child
Now to recap, if you are wondering how to handle sensory issues that may be bothering your child, you have to really decide if this is something that is worth addressing. Or is it just part of the normal human variants that makes us all special. To work on something you would always be best if it’s something that your child wants to work on. If they are not able to give you that information, you will need to determine if the issue is something that is actually physically harming your child.
If not, you need to consider if it’s causing any delays or detriment to your child’s learning, or development that will meaningfully affect their long term happiness.
Finally, you need to gauge how strongly your child is currently affected by the sensory issue. If you do determine that working on it with your child is the right choice. Then consider how much of the sensory desire your child has access to and make sure they get enough during the day so that they don’t seek it out, or can accept not having it at times. Is it unhelpful or might be considered inappropriate. Use it for its reinforcing value if that is possible.
If it is related to an uncomfortable or irritating situation for your child, you can consider finding help so that you can develop a safe, but effective, desensitization plan. However, as we do for the child with misophonia I told you about earlier, sometimes the best bet is to:
- Help the child learn how to protect themselves and avoid the triggers
- Use coping strategies when they can’t
- Work to keep their behavioral responses to the triggers as mild as possible
- Get a more fully functioning idea of how to use the Just 7 Steps approach.
Don’t forget to take my free quiz and find out your child’s behavior type! I know you’ll be glad that you did.
