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How to Avoid Bad Behavior in Kids | Stop Bad Behavior with Kids

 

 

One of the questions I am constantly asked as a Behavior Analyst and parenting specialist is, how do I avoid bad behavior in kids? Avoiding Bad behavior in kids is a clear and simple request, but the answer can be as complicated as the day is long.  So, rather than bore you with a dissertation, I’m going to share with you my top 5 most important factors to avoid bad behavior in kids.  

If you’d love to learn how to get your kids to listen without raising your voice or nagging, click below to get instant access to the free workshop.

Top 5 Rules for Avoiding Bad Behaviour in Kids

Kids are bound to make mistakes.  This is just part of growing up.  But there is a big difference between making a mistake and choosing to use what a parent might consider “Bad Behavior”. 

If your goal is to be able to avoid as much bad behavior in your kids as much as possible, you will need to follow a few basic rules.  I follow these rules as part of the 7 Steps to Instructional Motivation that I teach parents and professionals around the world as well as use in my own home with my two daughters Zoey and Laney.

So, here you go, my top 5 rules for avoiding bad behavior in your kids.

Rule #1: Be Able to Control Access to Your Child’s Most Important Things

Have the ability to control access to your child’s most important things.  That doesn’t mean deprive them of anything but set up your environment so that you can control when or how much of these things they can have.  If you can control access to it, you can use it as a reason why they would more regularly choose better behavior.  It won’t stop honest mistakes but it puts you in the position you need to be in to be able to affect their choice of using bad behavior.

Rule #2: Show Your Kids You Are Fun

Prove to your kids that you are more fun and offer more value than you do work.  Try not to let yourself be seen as a punisher or someone who only takes things away and takes their good behavior for granted. Work 3 positive comments into any conversation where you are going to correct or critique them.

Rule #3: Give Your Child Simple Instructions

Don’t give your kids instructions that you know they are likely not to want to follow. This means, break down your instructions into smaller more manageable chunks, and whenever possible wait for moments of motivation where your child wants something from you before you give your instruction.   This will make sure they have the highest amount of motivation before you ask something of them. 

The better you do Rule #1, and are in control of their most important things, the more they will come to you with requests that would then motivate your instructions.

Rule #4: Praise Positive Behaviour

Give lots of attention to the positive behavior you see. Show them that you are more interested in and more affected emotionally by their positive behavior choices than bad behavior.  The more attention and access to their favorite things you can give them after their good choices, and the less likely you are to give them attention for negative behavior the more they will want to use those positive choices for you and themselves.

Rule #5: Don’t Go Too Far with Reinforcing Bad Behavior

Don’t offer too much additional reinforcement for the bad behavior when you see it.  Correct it as you need to, but don’t get emotional and angry, don’t yell and show them it affects you.  Just carefully and calmly start to reduce the types of access they have to their most important things that you took control of in rule #1.

Again, this is just a short blog with a quick answer to what can be a very complicated question, but if your goal is to start being able to avoid bad behavior in kids, starting to focus on these 5 rules will give you the jumping off point that you need.

To really learn more about avoiding bad behavior in kids, click this link to sign up for my free workshop called, “How to Get Your Kids to Listen Without Raising Your Voice or Nagging.

So again, if your immediate worry is avoiding bad behavior in your kids, the best place to start is to begin following these 5 rules of interaction.

Summary of the 5 Rules to Avoid Bad Behaviour in Kids

  1. Have the ability to control access to your child’s most important things.
  2. Prove to your kids that you are more fun and offer more value than you do work.
  3. Don’t give your kids instructions that you know they are likely not to want to follow.
  4. Give lots of attention to the positive behavior you see.
  5. Don’t offer too much additional reinforcement for the bad behavior when you see it.  Correct it as you need to but don’t get emotional and angry, don’t yell and show them it affects you.

And for more in depth information to help you improve your relationship with your children and start to avoid bad behavior in your kids, click here to check out my free online workshop.  Schedule it when you want and learn from 53 minutes of free guidance from a behavior and parenting specialist with over 20 years of experience in the field.