Ways to Make Your Kids Like School | Children Don’t Want to Go to School
In today’s blog, I’m going to try to answer the question… How do I get my child to like school. And to answer this, I’m going to explain a bit about how and why we like anything and then see if we can use that knowledge to help set up a condition that improves the chances of getting your child to like school.
Be sure to click below if you’d love to know how to get your kids to listen, without raising your voice or nagging.
All kids are different. This is no secret and we all tend to like different things for different reasons.
When trying to figure out how to get your child to like school, I first have to consider what it is that makes things more and less likely to be liked by someone. So, let’s cover this by covering the negatives. What makes something less likely to be liked by your child?
Reasons Your Child Will Like Something Less
In general, but not always, things are less likely to be enjoyed by someone if they are…
- Overly time consuming
- Don’t match up with already established interests.
- Are paired with known punishers or aversive items.
- Get in the way of other fun things
- Offer physical or mental challenge that doesn’t lead to a feeling of success
- Offer social or emotional challenges that doesn’t lead to a feeling of success.
Why Kids Don’t Like School
Looking at this list, you can see why school may not always be a preferred activity for all kids. It takes a ton of time. In fact, other than sleeping it might be the single greatest time commitment for a child in their life. There is a good chance that the activities in school are not going to match up with things the child has already learned to like such as video games, outside play, TV, or other games and fun activities.
School is often paired with things that a child might find aversive such as sitting still, staying quiet, taking turns, accepting the answer no. Get in the way of fun things that the child might otherwise be doing at home or in the community like playing sports or video games or going to the beach to name a few.
School is likely to be the greatest source of mental, social, and emotional challenge a child will experience in their young lives. So, it is not unexpected that there will be children who do not like going to school. And this doesn’t even mention the issues related to separation anxiety a child might experience leaving the people they feel safest with.
If we look at these issues, the best ways to make school more enjoyable for our kids so that you can get your kids to like school would involve things the school themselves would need to do. Can they incorporate more of a child’s preferred activities, lessen the challenge or offer more avenues for success. Can they lower the amount of time spent in school or at least doing non-preferred activities in school? Can they reduce the social and emotional challenges as well as the punishing experiences that come with failure or not measuring up?
Unfortunately, depending on your child’s interests and how they handle challenges, it is not likely that the school will be willing to make many of these changes for you. So, if you are asking me specifically what you can do to help your child to like school, I would offer these tips and suggestions.
Ways You Can Help Your Child to Like School
- Give them a chance to lower their exposure to school when you feel they really need it. Can they take an afternoon off, get picked up early or dropped off late every once in a while?
- Make their school work less stressful and challenging by helping them with homework and assignments they are struggling with rather than leaving them to figure them out on their own.
- Talk to your teachers about potential friendships your child has in the school and help to foster those relationships outside of the classroom so that they may continue to flourish in the classroom setting and then work with your school to get these kids in your child’s class year after year.
- Give them a chance to pair going to school with the addition of special privileges. Can they get special items in their school lunch or special opportunities to do fun activities outside of school based on how much effort and positivity they put into going to school.
- Can you take some of the stress off at home by not putting too much pressure or emphasis on their schooling. Let them know they are loved and that they will be fine learning what they can in school. That you want them to try their best but will be understanding of however it ends up going as long as they keep putting in an honest effort.
As with anything I cover in just a few minutes in a blog post, there are a lot of other things that you can do to make your child more likely to start to like going to school.
There are also some great ways you can partner up with your teachers to develop token plans that push your child to better effort for reinforcement that would be both available during school hours but also at home.
If you want more information on how to develop this sort of community effort to help get your kid to like school, I recommend that you start by participating in my free workshop called, How to Get Your Kids to Listen Without Raising Your Voice or Nagging and it is free for you just by clicking here.
So, if your goals are to get your kid to start liking school, there is a ton that can be done. Much of it should be done by your school but if you don’t have their help, you can still work on it by implementing the following tips and suggestions.
Tips to Remember
- Give them a chance to miss a little school here and there when they need it.
- Help them with their homework and school work so they are not alone in trying to figure it all out.
- Work to help foster friendships with kids who can then be in class with them and make things more enjoyable for them.
- Pair going to school with other privileges and opportunities so that the value of those other things will begin to affect the perceived value of school itself,
And the 5th tip to help get your child to like school is to take some of the stress off of them by lowering the pressure you put on their school outcomes. Not everyone needs to be an A student to succeed in life. Don’t teach your child to hate learning because you want them to succeed over all else.
Don’t forget to click here to get that free workshop called, How to Get Your Kids to Listen Without Raising Your Voice or Nagging. It’s a great start in understanding the principles that affect your child’s behavior in home, school and the community.
