Login

Bedtime Hints and Tips

When Your Kids Won’t Go to Bed

What is it about bedtime and procrastination with children? Kids everywhere hate going to bed and can make the nighttime process miserable for parents. What should parents do when kids won’t go to bed? Well, if you’re struggling with bedtime, pay attention because I’m about to give you the important bedtime hints and tips to a better experience for all involved.

 

To be honest, I’m a night person. If left to my own devices, I would stay up working all night long and end up sleeping all day. It’s my natural rhythm to remain in a state I’m in. If I’m up, I like to remain up. And if I’m asleep, I’m happy to stay that way as well. My kids were not much different. Now bedtime was always a work in progress. 

 

So today on the blog, I’m detailing just a few of the important bedtime hints and tips that I’ve learned to use over the years. Both for my family and many of the families that I’ve worked with, as a behavior analyst, whenever kids won’t go to bed, and parents are tired of struggling with bedtime.  Otherwise known as, what to do when kids won’t go to bed.

Bedtime Tip #1: Choose a Bedtime and Stick to It

First bedtime tip is to create a set time for going to bed, and be prepared to stick to that time. We are all creatures of habit. If we set our kids up with a habit of a specific time to go to bed, and if possible to wake up, their bodies will become used to those expectations.  This makes it easier for them to meet those expectations.

 

Pick an ideal but practical time. One that you know you can stick to you every single day of the week, or at very least on the five weekday evenings. And commit to the idea that this is the time your child will be lying in bed with all they need to be left alone and ready to sleep. Set an alarm if you need to. 

 

I used to have an alarm that was set 30 minutes before bed and one that was set 15 minutes before bed. So that I know that no matter what was happening in the evening, I can either do a long or short bedtime routine with my girls, so that they would be in bed by the desired time.

Bedtime Tip #2 – Set Up a Consistent Sleep Environment

Next bedtime tip is to create a condition in which your child will fall asleep that will still be in place when they wake up in the middle of the night. We all wake up in the middle of the night. Our sleep cycles bring us from deep into light sleep, and we all wake up multiple times per night. When this happens in the night, if we have all of the conditions that we’re used to having when we fall asleep, we will quickly go right back to bed without any issue. But if there is anything uncomfortable or missing, that might make it hard for us to return to sleep. 

 

Maybe we need to use the bathroom, or maybe something or someone that was available to help us fall asleep is now missing. If so, we will search that thing out. For example, what if you are putting your kids to bed and you are in the room with them when they fall asleep? When they wake up in the middle of the night, chances are they will look for you to be able to fall back asleep again. And the same is true with nightlights, music, or anything else that they might use to fall asleep.

Bedtime Tip #3 – Create a Bedtime Routine

Alright, next bedtime tip is to create a bedtime routine. It’s called a routine for a reason. It needs to feel routine, it should have a series of steps to be followed. And the better you are about following each step the same exact way every night, the easier it’ll be to fall asleep at the end of that routine. 

 

It could include brushing teeth, putting pajamas on, getting a glass of water, reading a book or telling a story, you name it. The key here is that you find something that you and your child would be comfortable doing each and every night that takes between 15 or maybe 30 minutes, and doesn’t include anything that’s too exciting. 

 

It’s also important to remember to avoid all blue light before bed if at all possible. This means no TV or iPad or any other video screens for at least a half hour before bed. But an hour is even better if it’s possible. The blue light put off by these screens are set to trick the brain into thinking that it’s still daytime and keep the body alert. 

 

If you need to use screens at night as a reinforcer for your child, try using blue blocker glasses like these. These are called Sweis. They have adult kid sizes and are designed just for this purpose.

Bedtime Tip #4 – Give Your Kids Something to Hold

Finally, give your kids a squeezable, or huggable bed partner. Stuffed animals and pillows are great for kids to squeeze and hug at night to help them to feel safe and secure. Older kids might like a thicker blanket or body pillow. Give your kids something to hug at night since you won’t be able to be there for them. 

 

Now, there’s actually quite a bit more that you can do using motivation and reinforcement to give kids who hate to go to bed good reasons to follow their routines and to hit those bedtimes and, ultimately stay in bed. 

 

But if your kids won’t go to bed, and you’re struggling with bedtime routines and strategies, feel free to try the hints that I told you about. But don’t forget to check out my more involved podcast called Just 7 Steps. It’s available anywhere podcasts are available. We cover so many topics crucial to parents just like you from getting your kids to do their homework, to cleaning their rooms to building respect with them, and also knowing how to set limits. So be sure to go to www.just7steps.com/podcast. 

Remember these Bedtime Hints and Tips

If you’re not happy with the way your kids are behaving at bedtime, again, just try these simple bedtime hints and tips upfront:

  • Create a bedtime and stick to it. 
  • Create a condition for falling asleep that will be the same when your child wakes up in the middle of the night.
  • Design and follow a set bedtime routine each and every night to build that routine. 
  • Avoid all blue light from TV and other screens before bedtime.
  • Give your child a huggable bed partner.

If you like this information and you want to learn more about my approach to handling all forms of parent child relationship issues, check out the free workshop.  It’s free and shares with you some basic principles of understanding that will help you adjust how you react to your children and how they will interact with you all guided by the Just 7 Steps approach.