How to Help a Child Who Wets the Bed | Tips to Stop Wetting the Bed for Children
Anyone who sees the anguish and clean up that comes with bed wetting wants to know only one thing. How to help a child who wets the bed. On today’s blog, I want to share about all things bedwetting related. So, cinch up those pullups, and grab the rubber sheets because today you will learn how to help a child who wets the bed.
Want to get some great support in identifying why your child behaves the way that they do, you can click below to find out their behaviour type.
Why Children Wet the Bed
Bed wetting is an issue that can affect many children at different ages.
Children have different reasons for bedwetting. Some are just deep sleepers. Some have smaller bladders; others might produce more urine at night than is normal due to hormone differences. For many kids though, it might just be about not having learned to take opportunities when they are naturally awakened at night to get out of bed and go to the bathroom.
I’ve joked that helping my drunk friends make it home from the bars in college was great training for trying to take my sleeping toddler to the bathroom in the middle of the night.
In all actuality, there is not a lot you can do about how deeply someone sleeps or the size of their bladder or the amount of urine they produce at night, but you can teach them the process of identifying the feeling of having to pee and help them practice getting up, using the toilet using prompts and then fade that prompting over time. So, this is what I’m going to focus on today.
You’re Not Alone
I’ve seen it stated that over 5 million children in the United States alone currently deal with some level of bedwetting issues so if this is a concern for you and your child, here is the process I’ve used for years to help children learn the steps involved in keeping themselves and their beds dry. So, if you are wondering how to help a child who wets the bed, this is a great plan.
Step 1: Catch Your Child When They Need to Go
First, catch them when they have to go. The first step in teaching a child the steps in independent night time toileting is to wake them up at a time when they would likely have the feeling of a full bladder. If you are putting your kids to bed at 7 or 8 or 9pm, you would want to give them a few hours of sleep before waking them again.
In fact, depending on your sleep schedule, try to wait as long as you can before you go to bed and then if it has been long enough, you can go into their room and wake them. Ask them if they feel like they need to pee.
Step 2: Whether They Need to Go or Not, They Need to Try
Hopefully they will say yes, but regardless of what they say, tell them you need to take them to try.
Step 3: Fully Help Them Go to the Bathroom
Then fully prompt them to get up, and walk them by supporting their weight as they walk to the bathroom. Help them to sit, wait for them to pee, help them stand up, flush and even wash their hands if you like. Then walk them back to bed and put them back in bed.
If you go to sleep around the same time as your child, you may need to set an alarm to wake you to then follow through with this process. Regardless, the goal remains the same. Try to time it so that you can catch them when their bladder is full and prompt them through the exact process you want them to eventually learn to do without you.
Step 4: Going to the Bathroom on Their Own
After several days of doing this, you will begin to start fading any parts of the bathroom trip that you can. After flushing, can they walk back to their bed and get in on their own? Can you get them to flush the toilet or wash their hands without help? Can you get them to get up out of bed after saying they have to pee on their own and walk into the bathroom by themselves?
The goal here is to fade whatever you can, help them with the rest and keep fading prompts until they are able to do the entire process on their own.
Step 5: Stop Waking Them Up
Once they are doing the process on their own, you want to try to fade the prompt to go to the bathroom. Just wake them up and try to get them to start the process of getting out of bed and going to the bathroom on their own without your verbal prompting or guidance.
After this, it is time to let nature take over. You can stop waking them up and start hoping that we have done the work of giving them the tools they need to be successful without us.
If they have an accident after you have left them to their own devices, you may want to go back to waking them for a few days to minimize the chances that they will have multiple accidents too close together. We will want to mitigate any feelings of embarrassment or shame your child might get.
Some Important Notes
A couple of important notes to go with this process. If your child is in diapers at night, you want to take them out of the diapers as you begin the process of taking them to the bathroom. You don’t want them to continue to have the option of going in the diapers when you are trying to teach them to use the toilet.
You also don’t want to punish or reprimand your child for their bed wetting. It is not a bad or even intentional behavior. The goal is to minimize any emotional stress your child feels.
I’ve seen studies that suggest that as many as 40% of kids up to age 4 deal with some form of bed wetting, 20% of age 5, 12% of age 6 and even 5% of 10-year-olds and 3% of 12-year-olds have continuing issues. So, it’s not unusual even for older children to have some issues.
Did you know that if you are having issues at home beyond how to help your child who wets the bed, and want to get some great support in identifying why they are behaving the way that they do, you can click here to take my Behavior Types quiz. Find out if your child has a behavior type and what that type means toward how you should best address their behavior issues. It’s only 10 questions long and you will get a great video result with helpful information.
So, to recap our lesson for today, if you are wondering how to help a child who wets the bed, here is the plan I would follow.
Follow This Plan to Help a Child Who Wets the Bed
- First, stay up a bit late or set an alarm and wake them up trying to catch them when they have to pee.
- Then wake them and ask them if they feel like they need to pee.
- Regardless of their answer, take them to the toilet and walk them through the exact steps you will want them to take on their own giving them all the full physical prompting they need to be successful.
- With successive days, begin to fade back any and eventually all of the prompts you use to help them until they can do the whole process on their own
- Then fade the part of the process where you ask them if they need to go. Just wake them and wait for them to get up and go on their own.
At this point, you’ve given them the skills and practice they should need and it’s time to let nature take over.
If you continue to have problems, there are certainly more things that you can do, but we’ll have to save that info for another day. Or better yet, check out the Behavior Types quiz and learn more about how you can affect your child’s behavior choices with a better understanding of the basic principles of behavior.
