Become a More Confident Parent

What does it take to become a more confident parent? Do you need a higher education?  Do you need the experience that comes with a practice child? Would  superhuman patience or strength be what you need? Do you wonder if there’s some magical parenting secret sauce? Whatever it is, does it feel like you just don’t have it?  In this blog, I  will share with you what I THINK it takes to become a more confident parent.  

Nobody with a healthy mindset can possibly get into parenting for the first time without bouts of anxiety, fear, and hesitation. Becoming a  more confident parent is something that generally takes some time, but there are certainly things you can do to help that process along. 

Confidence Comes from Experience and Success

Confidence comes from experience and success. The more successful you become at something the more confidence you develop in your ability to do that thing. The same is going to be true for you as a parent. 

The problem is, nobody ever parents or cares for their first child with any experience.  It’s all about theory, hopes, ideals, and hopefully having been able to participate in a healthy successful parent/child relationship as a child with your own parents.

Unfortunately, not everyone has that.  Even those of us who were raised well by caring and attentive parents, don’t always know what our specific kids might need.  We only know what worked for us and what didn’t.  This is a great jumping off point, but not the guarantee of success any new parent longs for.

So, what is it that you can do to help build your confidence in your own abilities as a parent?  Is it fake it ‘til you make it? That can help to some degree.  Would going to family and friends for help? Again, this can be helpful but there is no guarantee that the people you go to have any better idea of how to help your child than you might. So, what is it?  How do you become a more confident parent?

Stop Winging It and Come Up with a Plan

For me, the answer to this question is to stop winging it. Stop guessing your way through every new situation and problem. Stop wondering how to react to your children’s behavior in the moment and instead, come up with a parenting plan. A plan that is evidence-based and rooted in proven methodologies. One that takes advantage of the knowledge of the basic behavioral principles that are controlling your child’s behavior every single day. 

Get Some Proven Guidance and Advice

If you want to become a more confident parent, you have to experience success as a parent.  To do that you may need some guidance and help. Parenting advice is easy to find.  Just about anyone who has ever had a child will likely be able to offer you something.  

The question is, what is the value of the advice of a random parent of a child who may or may not have been anything like your own? There are so many parenting “Experts” out there with all kinds of advice for new or struggling parents. But, when these experts are researched, it is not uncommon to find that their only education or points of reference might be from their own small brood of children.

Parenting successfully the child in front of you is going to take more than just a handful of tips and tricks from other parents.  Even parents who call themselves experts. 

What you are going to need is an approach that makes sense behaviorally, is comprehensive and has a proven track record.  It has to be flexible enough to take into account all the ways an individual child might be different or have special needs and it has to be based on a set of principles.  That is why I teach The Just 7 Steps approach to Instructional Motivation.

The Just 7 Steps Approach

The Just 7 Steps Approach will help you become a more confident parent because it will help you come in contact with parenting successes.  It will set you up with a plan that makes sense to you and offers a behavioral mechanism that supports its use. This approach will be flexible enough to work for any child or different children in your household and it will be designed to not only gain better cooperation, but to build a more positive relationship. 

Understand Where You Can Find Confidence

There is confidence in knowing what you are trying to achieve with every interaction you have with your child. You feel confident by being able to give instructions the right way at the right time and under the right motivation. Knowing that if you positively reinforce behavior you want to see more of, you will begin to see it more often and you will be building your child’s opinion of you – there’s confidence in that.

When you know how to grow your parenting plan over time and how to prioritize your needs as well as your child’s interests you will feel confident.  Your confidence will grow as you see yourself become more and more successful and happy with your child and relationship each and every day. 

Understand How Your Child Responds to Consequences

Children are all different and can have vastly different motivations. Assuming the same things that would motivate you will motivate your child is a quick path to turmoil. Looking at how your child responds to your consequences in the moment instead of how they affect future behavior is another quick turn to trouble.

Relying on negative reinforcement instead of positive or using positive punishment as a regular tool will only hurt the relationship you are trying to build even if it gets you the cooperation you want.  

There are so many things that could affect your child’s responses to you and dictate how you should respond to them.  It is no wonder so many parents go through their lives without feeling a sense of confidence in their abilities.  

Understand What Motivates Your Child

One of the best ways to understand your child’s motivation is to learn about their basic behavior type. Most children have a specific behavior type.  And I’ve set up on my website a page that leads you directly to a behavior type questionnaire.

This quiz offers you insights as to what your child’s overriding behavior type likely is, and how to take this information into consideration as you parent your child. Click here to take the free quiz right now.  Anyone can take it, it takes less than 10 minutes and you will receive a video response with information about your child’s behavior type.  

Confidence is in Having a Plan of Action

If your goal is to build more confidence in yourself as a parent, then you are going to need to find ways to start coming into contact with higher levels of success. The best way to do that is to have a plan of action that guides your decision making so that you don’t panic in the moment trying to figure out what to do. 

The Just 7 Steps approach offers you all the information you need to create your own parenting plan. It is the path to progress and confidence that you have been looking for.  The best place to start the process of learning about the Just 7 Steps approach is to go and take the Behavior Types Quiz to get an idea of what your child’s overriding behavior type might be. 

There is a ton of really valuable information out there for parents if they just know where to look. Confidence comes from success and success comes from developing a working plan.  Give yourself the opportunity to learn how to create a positive parenting plan and you will find that confidence you have been missing.